You learn things in many ways. From school. From people. From books. From your kids.
From mistakes.
Maybe the most important thing about learning is that you keep going.
Right now, among other things, I have to learn from success. It's not something I'm good at. I don't trust it. It's fleeting. It's over done. It creates attention.
I'm learning how to relax and enjoy it. Maybe because I know this time I worked hard to get where I am. Yes, it may have something to do with being smart, but I used my smarts and worked hard. I believe that.
There are all those fancy sayings out there about it's not what happens, it what you make of it. I hate them. And yet, in many ways, it's what I did. I think I hate the sayings because there is this implication, for me, of that happy happy thing going on. And I didn't do it from some happy happy place. In many ways, I was fighting back. I did, finally, choose how and chose a more positive way.
Being cynical, I also hate success because I don't want it to look like what I did, I did for recognition. Recognition is also a double-edged sword. I did it for me. And first I did it for the people I work with because it's just hard for me to do anything just for me. That part came later, when things started going well and it all became fun.
And then there is this. I can't say the workplace doesn't provide me with the technology I need/want in or to do my job. All my gift cards and health bribes have me 2/3 of the way to the device I want. One that is a refurbished discontinued model so I'm getting more than I thought I would. And that 10 Year Anniversary gift card that will be coming. may just have bluetooth keyboard writing all over it.
Labels: lessons
