We All Have Fantasies

They say it's normal and can be a good thing.

Mine right now has nothing to do with any situation that might require a tent that fits inside my pants. 

A windows-open kind of day. Sun. My house to myself. My clean house to myself. My sofa back. A good book. Adult somewhat literary. Maybe a nap. Flowers. Real flowers. My music. And the only TV on would be later and would be a good movie DVD. Popcorn for dinner with wine, of course. Maybe a cupcake for dessert. 

Ah, dream on. 

Which Came First

And related to the previous -

The joking with my manager was about me saying something like that's me being relator me.  We had had a brief discussion about the four types at a staff meeting. She said she thought of me as a thinker and that my thinking had saved us, the workplace, more than once.  I told her in one other personality test I was a hub. Someone who was about in the middle of all the types which meant I could or would become what was needed or missing in a group. A people person, a thinker or the one telling everyone what to do.

I obsessed about that later. Which came first the hub-ness or being needy.  Is it my neediness and wanting to fit in somewhere at any cost what makes me a hub? The insecure people pleaser at work? Do whatever it takes to be needed?

That sucks.

I Took My Kid for a Walk

He seemed more than happy to go.   I wasn't suspicious. It was the first beautiful night in a while.  And then he happen to ask what my schedule was for today. I have the day off and work a program tonight. I said I was getting up to get a hair cut then. . .  .He said, lunch at here?   He says Fridays are Fun Lunch Fridays. I laughed. I said I was sure that place would come up sometime this weekend. He thinks we should have the hot mess before it goes away. I think I can have a bite.

I need this almost 3-day weekend. I was talking with a coworker yesterday. I crashed the night before and was trying to get things in order. Let things go. Re-prioritize. And de-stress. She said I was the one, have been the one, holding the building together.  She could tell it was wearing me out. She didn't know what to do. She was glad I had an epiphany. Right before I had grabbed my manager for some updates and clarifications about programs and procedures. We were joking around at the end. She stopped and said, You do know you are needed here?  How valued you are?

Yeah. Good and bad with that.

House stuff progressing. The concrete replacement and inside repairs are scheduled for late next week.

I need my personal space back.

Here's to You Phil!

Whatever -

I give up.
In a healthy way - maybe.

I made myself a list because sometimes that keeps me on track and gives me goals. Goals are good.
I only did the thing on my list I had to fiscal responsibility-wise. Everything else -no.

I will get going next week. After the next snowstorm.

I will.

Really.

I have the list to start from.

I Took My Kid to the Museum

It was a nice day. Whatever day it was last week.

We saw this exhibit.
What the two had most in common for me was they were so much more in person than I ever expected from the photos I had seen on the museum website. It was the opening I wanted to attend and was canceled by one of the snow storms. Now I really wish I could hear them speak.
When I was walking around the pottery, I kept thinking I wish I could see a video of her process and then, just around the corner in the next gallery - a video!  She said she liked making vessels, something that could be used as a vessel, even though these not really. She liked the idea of them being filled up and then added, maybe she already had -filled them.
I like to post stuff like this on facebook to make me look cool.  In my eyes anyway. One must cultivate a facebook person after all. ;)

Lowering My Stress Level

by looking at the 10 day weather forecast    :)

Book Quotes

from The Terrible Thing That Happened to Barnaby Brocket by John Boyne

"Bark!" he barked. "Bark! Bark! Bark!" (note: yes, a dog)



He hadn't read anything in a week and was worried that his imagination was going to close down for good.