Tuesday, January 29, 2013

It's not about the Leadership

So I've been seeing the word in many places and this is making me think now. It came from here just to give credit where  it's due. This isn't about the article, it is about a statement. And here's where I want to repeat it's not about Leadership as such either.

And you have to believe in what you're doing, and you have to believe in your plan, and you have to believe in your cause, and you have to believe in your mission. And you need to be very passionate about those things. And if you're not, why would anyone else want to be alongside you?

It says to me it's important to know what you believe in. It the place to start when making decisions. It helps to have a guide. Not just in that work related way, in a life way. 

It has been difficult to make some of my beliefs happen at work. Even if you believe and want group input into the way things are, sometimes, it seems, there aren't enough openings or ways to be flexible in the structure that is already in place. I do believe we can make some changes in programs and so on when we plan for the future even though now it's about filling holes. 

Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. That I do believe. 

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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Sometimes,

I just really hate being a crazy person.

Monday, January 21, 2013

On Birthdays

I believe Birthdays should be celebrated for multiple days.  A special dinner at home day, a dinner out day, a celebrate with friends day.

Happy Birthday, kid!  (On the go out for dinner day, BTW)

Oh, and my mom once said that she believed the mother should get presents on the kid's birthday. After all, she did all the work that day. Never quite made that happen and still, a great thought.

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Saturday, January 19, 2013

Meaning/Purpose


Some quotes from this.

People whose lives have high levels of meaning often actively seek meaning out even when they know it will come at the expense of happiness. Because they have invested themselves in something bigger than themselves, they also worry more and have higher levels of stress and anxiety in their lives than happy people.

Another study from 2011 confirmed this, finding that people who have meaning in their lives, in the form of a clearly defined purpose, rate their satisfaction with life higher even when they were feeling bad than those who did not have a clearly defined purpose.


I always go back to the book Drive and think about the three things he says motivate people - autonomy, mastery and purpose. 

I do tend to always want more and often can't articulate what that means in any given situation. Maybe it is meaning. Purpose. 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Pull off a program

I had never done before like I was a pro because the person I was training to do that program was watching.

Check.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Meet Bruce


Spent most of the weekend moving things around and moving in some of the kids stuff. Want to make some spaces for them, so he feels like he is living here, not just a squatter.

This is Bruce. A T-Rex he inherited from a friend. Hope he's happy for a while in his new jungle.

Sunday, January 13, 2013




Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
Louisa May Alcott 






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Tuesday, January 08, 2013

New Years Resolutions/Revelations

or What I've Been Thinking About.

For the past two years I have participated in  a White Stone Ceremony in a church I now only attend sporadically. It's  a time to reflect and find a word to take you through the new year. It is quite amazing and wonderful to have that word come to you with all it's meanings and possibilities. And surprising.

I have been thinking through many things to try to find my word. I do have it. Again it came easy at one point. It was just it.

The first time I did this I was in one of the messiest places of my life. A breakdown like I hadn't had for many years, so also not unprecedented.  The word wouldn't go away as much as I wanted it to. The word was hope. I slowly made it through that year. With friends. With starting to go to that church and listening to their words: we all have value, we all have purpose, we all deserve love. With medication. With lots of reading and work. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fun. I still deal with all the issues. I still have to consciously remind myself of what I need to do, the way I can stop some of the spinning. I am, of course, still me.

The second year, last year, the word, obviously, was joy. To many it may seem strange that one has to look for joy, to find it, to let it in your life. I needed to make it, joy, a habit. I  needed to bring it back into my life. Yes, the word came from somewhere and stayed.  I even knew I needed to make a commitment to it and document joy every week. Some weeks were difficult. The project didn't turn out at all like I thought it would at the beginning of the year, what really ever does. It was good.

So, now to year 3.  I had no real idea even if I could do it again. Find the word. And then, one day there it was. Another path that seemed to obvious. All I had to do was listen. Now I can even see the path that led me to it. It, of course, started two years ago.

I did I lot of reading, as I usually do. To try to figure things out. To try to figure myself out. A lot of walking processing time. Personal stuff, work stuff, life stuff. I remember after the year plus of reading thinking I had to stop. I had to just process the bits and pieces and find what made sense to me. Try to integrate it in some way. Integrate in the way of understanding and living it. I have a friend who can articulate their philosophies about most everything. I'm not all that articulate. At least I have trouble when I try to write things down. The organizing, the finding the words. It's probably all feelings to me, the INFJ thing, which makes is so difficult. Writing them down, turning them to thoughts. the thinking thing.

I realized in the middle of all the drama and change, work and personal, that there were ways of thinking that made sense to me. Things that should work. Understandings about my personality types, yes types. Truths, maybe? Near the end of the year I received a couple nice little notes from friends that made me think about the good things that are there. I know there are things I value, a way of life even, that I don't always live. It all came together in it's own strange way.  The word came.

BELIEVE

It's complicated, what it means to me. Of course it means I really have to think through all this stuff I've been absorbing and integrating it and making it into a whole. It has to do with acknowledging what I do believe and trying to live it. Trying to use them to make my choices. The strength to find a nice way of standing strong. Of finding ways to implement what I believe.

Because ultimately, what all this means, is learning to believe in myself.

Which could make this the most difficult year yet.


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Thursday, January 03, 2013

Thinking . . . . .