Things I Never Did When I Was Young

Silly me.

The fun of the perfect buzz from drinking just the right amount to feel good and free and knowing I don't have to think about driving because I'm home. Because I should not be driving or talking or writing most anything in this too easy to be honest place. So I won't.

And on a Sunday night even.

Why did I think I needed to be a good girl?

Silly me.

Dilemma

It's the kind of thing they want me to put in my monthly report but the kind of thing I hate putting there. Is it part of my job to be there for teens, maybe, but it's also just me being me. We have teen volunteers, some we relate to better than others and some relate to different types, personalities of staff. To me it's more of a side effect of what we do, not a job description.

Of course, they like the side effects. It's one of the ways we are valuable to the public. I guess.

I don't know. I just still think putting stuff like this in isn't right. It's saying look at me, I am so cool, give me a higher rating for what, being a person?

Anyway, a former teen volunteer, former because she graduated from high school last spring, saw me walking toward the YS desk and stopped me and said, "I was hoping you were here. I've had a bad day and just need someone to talk to."

Even girls down here have problems or concerns or something they need a safe person to share something with. It wasn't life threatening or anything, she just needed some outside of family, someone to talk to.

I hope I helped.

I made me feel good. Sometimes you have made a difference and didn't even realize it until something like this happens. Why I love my job. When I love it. ;)

Our Worst Fear

Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.

We ask ourselves: "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented or fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone.

And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Nelson Mandela-1986

A friend posted this on facebook.

What a Weekend Should Be

A good weekend.

Went shopping with a specific project in mind. One I'm working on. Not quite happy with it yet, but playing with it.

I wanted to have a quiet weekend: I've been busy the last few but had two unexpected invites to meet friends and while I at first thought no, ended up doing both and glad I did. Sometimes being with the right people isn't really like being with people.

I do enjoy movies. You can block out the world. Although I wouldn't have taken a 5 year old to see Cowboys & Aliens. But that's just me, I guess.

Read a book. For work. But for a fun work thing. I am substituting for YAAC and they might be having a skype author visit so wanted to read her book. I like it, in some ways but it had a message that was good but not subtle and pretty heavy handed. It's the kind of book I would like to hear real teens talk about. I may have to go back when they do.

Still going to church more often than not. This week was especially relevant. It was about the power of language. About being mindful of what you think and say. The power of words to make a difference leading, of course, to the words we use with ourselves. We are often hardest on ourselves. And the little mantra for today, "I am an amazing creation made in the image and likeness of God. Today I choose _______." Fill in the blank. Hopefully with something good. Something positive. But if it's a bad day, at least be aware. Be aware maybe it was a choice.

Shopping day two to look for ideas in general. Found a pillow cover at Pottery Barn out of linen with flowers made of the same fabric. A nice subtle embellishment.

Actually did some cooking. And think I could live on things called salsa alone. So many varieties.

It's getting darker earlier at night. It's messing with my walking times. And I think I need new walking shoes.