Thursday, August 26, 2010

I Should be Happier About This

Every now and then we "play" Jeopardy at staff meetings. It can be a good way to review policies and procedures we have forgotten and the Dewey category gives the pages a chance to shine. They know those numbers!

We divide into 3 teams with representation from all departments. And it gets competitive. Sometime I do. I have to go into the meeting telling myself to be cool, just add what I can and let it all go. One staff person at the end of the meeting yesterday was asked if she was upset when her group was down. She said not mad at anyone, it just makes her more competitive than usual and it come across as intense.

Anyway . .

Our team had first choice and the IS person started off with IS/YS for 1000. The big one. I told her it was on her. But. . . The team was given three books and one person had 30 seconds to look at them and then give a 1 minute book talk. They were YA books I was familiar with and had read and enjoyed one. I took it. It was a book talk. Not talking about the book, which is often what happens and understandable in the circumstances. Appreciative comments were made. Someone asked if I had read the book and I admitted I had. To me that proves you can only do a good book talk if you read the book. Did they think it was cheating in this competitive environment - who knows. The luck of the draw.

Actually not sure if the other YS people could have done it as well. They don't book talk and they don't read widely. Even in YA.

I also helped my team with the 5 upcoming training's in order (big points there, too). And which staff member lived in Japan.

Didn't have the mission statement memorized thought. No one did. ;)

Anyway, here's where I get to the usual convoluted places I get to. It seems the system wants to give up more professional opportunities and they have decided what mine should be and what will make me happy. It's really what's left over, but stuff I can do well enough.

MAybe it's because I may have made it look easy-ish. And it's not. I had read the book. It takes time to read widely. And time to even decide what might be worth talking about. And you are putting yourself out there. It's hard.

Did I make it look easy? Is that what's frustrating me? Did I feed into some perception?

I don't know.

I just know I should be happy and I'm not. I feel like I've just set myself up for expectations and a sense that what they decided was right. Maybe it is right. Maybe I just wanted more choices.

Don't know why I just can't accept things. Don't know why I can't believe in myself.

Wish I could.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Nature of Mindfulness

There are 5 key qualities.

1. Creation of new categories - Children are constantly creating new categories as they play and learn about the world. Adults tend to be reluctant to do so. If we pay attention to the situation and context, we can create new or more categories mindfully. Example: When we dislike something we tend to make broad, single statements. Like,"I hate winter!" If you break it down you eventually find a quality you appreciate. Figure out what you really hate and deal with that specific thing.

2. Openness to new information - Constantly look and be aware of changes. Don't block out the little things.

3. Awareness of more than one perspective - There are as many different views as there are perspectives. If we cling to our own point of view we aren't aware of our impact on others. Or, if we are too dependent on outside approval, we feel less than what we are. We judge others behavior according to what we would/could do and don't know the reasons for their behavior. Our response to many things will change if we try out other points of view.

4. Control of context - Being able to reinterpret an experience in a different, often not threatening way. Mostly just examples in this part about reframing the experience of pain.

5. Process before outcome - Be aware of the process of making choices. We make a choice for a perceived benefit and only later may discover there are consequences which make us wish we had chosen differently. We can be less hard on ourselves if we know why we did what we did. This also means being aware that every outcome is preceded by a process. We often judge others by where they are now and think we come up short. We don't see the work it took for them to get there. If we see a goal in small steps, we are more likely to get there, feeling better about ourselves because we realize we can't be experts all at once.

Interesting information about change in all this. She notes that many people in therapy have a strong motivation to change, but found it hard to change. Often they were trying to change a behavior they actively enjoyed from another point of view. For example, they wanted to stop 'being impulsive' but one of the characteristics they valued about themselves was 'being spontaneous.' Someone who hates being gullible, values trusting. Being aware of the duality of the negative/positive terms may help them change labels and categories or viewpoints and find the right alternative positive behavior, like being reflective. Not sure how to apply this to change for me right now, but found the concept very interesting.

I can see why the author of the happiness book mentioned her work. Many of the about concepts were in his book, in some way.

The rest of the book explores her concepts and experiments in various situations, health care, work, aging and more, but I'm more interested in learning about the eastern version of mindfulness and the whole meditation thing, so I'm returning this one and moving on, mindful of the direction I want to go. ;)

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Ta Da!


Friday, August 06, 2010

Costs of Mindlessness

Short and Simple

1. Narrow Self Image - If you only define you self in one way, what happens when the goes away? Need to see an evolving multifaceted self. An image based on outcome, just the results not the process, discounts the growth that happens. An image based on past performance or labels we gave ourselves in the past can undermine performance and sense of competence.

2. Unintended Cruelty - Small steps can lead to bigger mistakes, a little lie now, cheating a little now, makes it easier rationalize bigger lies, or worse. Compartmentalizing uncomfortable thoughts can lead to rationalizing.

3. Loss of Control - Advertising leads to unintelligent choices. Attributing all your problems to a single cause narrow your range of solutions.

4. Learned Helplessness - We give up with repeated failure and then generalize that experience to all areas.

5. Stunted Potential - We accept a perceived outcome, as in what it means to be old.

Much of this shows up in her research, especially with the elderly. She says the main obstacle to overcome for the elderly and their caretakers were the premature cognitive commitments about old age that people make in their youth. Especially that they can't care for themselves and are helpless. If they believe being older is a new stage of life with its' own unique characteristics, life is better for them.

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Starting with Mindlessness

The Mindfulness book by Langer

She says she is taking a Western approach to mindfulness based on her scientific perspective and experiments. She looked at what mindfulness isn't and then broke it down. She says those who study the Eastern more spiritual version see parallels. I've been listening to a CD and have a book waiting on the Eastern and mediation aspects, and there are indeed parallels. Will have to make them later.

Mindlessness. Starting with the reverse. Three main things:
1. Trapped by Categories - We experience the world by creating categories and relying too rigidly on categories and distinctions we have created in the past makes us blind to the fact that they are constraints.
2. Automatic Behavior - We react due to habit and and expected compliance.
3. Acting from a Single Perspective - We have one set of rules and follow them. Interesting - highly specific instructions encourage it.

The Roots of Mindlessness
We tend to cling to the rules and laws we develop to explain and understand the world. This leads to a falsified view. (Note: In the Eastern viewpoint CD, clinging is very not good. Same word choice in both - parallels) Causes:
1. Repetition - we become mindless experts, we no longer know how we do something, we just do it and then even can't deconstruct the steps.
2. Premature Cognitive Commitment - the way we first take in information determines how we use it later. We accept something as good or bad, a mindset, and cling to it.
3. Belief in Limited Resources - This was fascinating. Rather than accepting the word as dynamic and continuous, we believe resources are limited. We make categories or rules to allocate the few resources. If we believe resources are unlimited, then categories need not be so rigid. If a valuable thing is not perceived as limited we might not cling to rigid categories, but loosen them up. There are many types of intelligence, why limit higher education to one type. Feelings, love, caring, respect, confidence, excitement, are not limited. Our ideas of our own limits may inhibit us.
4. Notion of Linear Time - Didn't get this at all, and don't feel like going back to it. Moved on.
5. Education for Outcomes - We focus on goals, not process, and pursue one outcome or another. Question should be "How do I?" instead or "Can I do it?" Teaching of unconditional facts encourages mindlessness.
6. Influence of Context - We confuse the context controlling the behavior of another with our own. We assume other peoples motives and intentions are ours when the same behavior has different meanings. Great example: If society values running and you walk, your pleasure and joy may be destroyed if you see yourself as a non-runner rather than choosing to walk.

Categories, Context, Process, Multiple Viewpoints

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