I Should be Happier About This
Every now and then we "play" Jeopardy at staff meetings. It can be a good way to review policies and procedures we have forgotten and the Dewey category gives the pages a chance to shine. They know those numbers!
We divide into 3 teams with representation from all departments. And it gets competitive. Sometime I do. I have to go into the meeting telling myself to be cool, just add what I can and let it all go. One staff person at the end of the meeting yesterday was asked if she was upset when her group was down. She said not mad at anyone, it just makes her more competitive than usual and it come across as intense.
Anyway . .
Our team had first choice and the IS person started off with IS/YS for 1000. The big one. I told her it was on her. But. . . The team was given three books and one person had 30 seconds to look at them and then give a 1 minute book talk. They were YA books I was familiar with and had read and enjoyed one. I took it. It was a book talk. Not talking about the book, which is often what happens and understandable in the circumstances. Appreciative comments were made. Someone asked if I had read the book and I admitted I had. To me that proves you can only do a good book talk if you read the book. Did they think it was cheating in this competitive environment - who knows. The luck of the draw.
Actually not sure if the other YS people could have done it as well. They don't book talk and they don't read widely. Even in YA.
I also helped my team with the 5 upcoming training's in order (big points there, too). And which staff member lived in Japan.
Didn't have the mission statement memorized thought. No one did. ;)
Anyway, here's where I get to the usual convoluted places I get to. It seems the system wants to give up more professional opportunities and they have decided what mine should be and what will make me happy. It's really what's left over, but stuff I can do well enough.
MAybe it's because I may have made it look easy-ish. And it's not. I had read the book. It takes time to read widely. And time to even decide what might be worth talking about. And you are putting yourself out there. It's hard.
Did I make it look easy? Is that what's frustrating me? Did I feed into some perception?
I don't know.
I just know I should be happy and I'm not. I feel like I've just set myself up for expectations and a sense that what they decided was right. Maybe it is right. Maybe I just wanted more choices.
Don't know why I just can't accept things. Don't know why I can't believe in myself.
Wish I could.
We divide into 3 teams with representation from all departments. And it gets competitive. Sometime I do. I have to go into the meeting telling myself to be cool, just add what I can and let it all go. One staff person at the end of the meeting yesterday was asked if she was upset when her group was down. She said not mad at anyone, it just makes her more competitive than usual and it come across as intense.
Anyway . .
Our team had first choice and the IS person started off with IS/YS for 1000. The big one. I told her it was on her. But. . . The team was given three books and one person had 30 seconds to look at them and then give a 1 minute book talk. They were YA books I was familiar with and had read and enjoyed one. I took it. It was a book talk. Not talking about the book, which is often what happens and understandable in the circumstances. Appreciative comments were made. Someone asked if I had read the book and I admitted I had. To me that proves you can only do a good book talk if you read the book. Did they think it was cheating in this competitive environment - who knows. The luck of the draw.
Actually not sure if the other YS people could have done it as well. They don't book talk and they don't read widely. Even in YA.
I also helped my team with the 5 upcoming training's in order (big points there, too). And which staff member lived in Japan.
Didn't have the mission statement memorized thought. No one did. ;)
Anyway, here's where I get to the usual convoluted places I get to. It seems the system wants to give up more professional opportunities and they have decided what mine should be and what will make me happy. It's really what's left over, but stuff I can do well enough.
MAybe it's because I may have made it look easy-ish. And it's not. I had read the book. It takes time to read widely. And time to even decide what might be worth talking about. And you are putting yourself out there. It's hard.
Did I make it look easy? Is that what's frustrating me? Did I feed into some perception?
I don't know.
I just know I should be happy and I'm not. I feel like I've just set myself up for expectations and a sense that what they decided was right. Maybe it is right. Maybe I just wanted more choices.
Don't know why I just can't accept things. Don't know why I can't believe in myself.
Wish I could.